Saturday, May 29, 2010

Growth. Spurt.

Growing is good. Growing in spurts = not so good.

What is the point of growth spurt? I hated them when I was growing. And I still hate them now that I'm growing you, my little boy.

I hear some kids just grow steadily. No spurting. I'd like to know where we were supposed to sign up for that option. I'm quite sure you would strongly prefer this option as well.

For the record though, I thought growth spurts were supposed to make you tired? I swear sometimes I look at you and wonder, "How in the world are you not asleep!?"

You have rubbed your eyes red, yawned long enough to swallow a fly or two, and yelped those pathetic, grizzly cries over and over but your poor little thing... sleep just will not come. When I look at you, I remember the childhood feeling of those achy joints - a dull, annoying pain that just won't go away - and wonder if you feel the same but with no words to tell Mama where to rub.

All you want to do is eat. But Mama's milk just can't come fast enough. I feel so sad that I can't seem to give you enough of what you need but I know that if you suck long enough more will come. Its the way God made us to work in a team. Its tiring sometimes. But I like being on the team with you. And when you don't feel well, there is no better place you'd rather be.

And so the training, the routine, the principles, they all go out the window so I can give you that little bit of extra comfort until finally, your ravished little tummy is satisifed enough to drop into a deep sleep.

I let you stay next to me instead of in your cot and even though the last little while felt so exhausting, in the moment, looking at you sleeping there, I know we made it! And I know we'll make it next time.

I love you little boy!! Grow good. Love, mommy.

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